Monday, February 22, 2010

Thank God I Was Sick

I was very sick last week.
It started on Thursday, I was feeling weak and a little hot. Things got intense on Friday, somehow I got out of the house for an hour on Shabbat and then crawled back into bed, where I stayed for three days. I had high fever, took advil Tylanol and Acamol, trying anything that will work. I also put cold compresses on and took four showers a day.
It felt absolutly awful not to be in contorl of my body. The high fever made me unrestful and weak (sorry enough for me???)
Finally, my fever broke and I felt a little better, physically. Although I felt drained psychologically. When I went back to teaching I felt that it was a lot harder to concentrate. I felt frustrated with it. Things that I used to be able to handle with ease took me a lot longer all of the sudden.
Yesterday I finally got it! I was explaining to some of my students (saturday night) how weak I felt and how I still felt the effects of the illness. All of the sudden I realized that I've heard this story many times before - from my students in the Beit Midrash.
I Yelled out THANK YOU GOD ! I understood that this short illness that I went through was so that I could better understand and feel what my students are saying. It's not that I'm really comparing three days in bed to what some of my students went through, but it is a microcosm, a peek into this reality. For this I thank God. I am now truely happy that I was sick on those days and felt miserable for it made me a better person. Baruch Hashem!