My students the heroes

Yesterday I had a talk with my students. I told them about my ventures in America and recounted my speeches and meetings. The one thing that was most obvious was that my students are heroes. They are changing the way the world looks at mental illness. They show the world that it is possible to live a productive life even after being diagnosed with bi-polarity, or schizophrenia. They give hope to those who thought mental illness was like a death sentence. They give people who were scared of mental illness and thought that "those people" should be locked up, a different perspective. The fact that they are not giving up, that they get up in the morning, get on the bus, go and learn for hours, then continue to have a full life, is a testament not only to their strength, but to the abilities of the human race to overcome difficulties.

The strength of community - in halacha

When I was in Los Angeles, back at the great community of Em Habanim congregation, it really dawned on me how important a community is. During those tough days, when I kept making phone calls and visits to donors to no avail, the thing that kept me strong was the community. And then I had an insight. When our great sages originally determined the times of prayer, they set them to be at dawn and dusk. Those two occasions are times of uncertainty, times of shadows and fears. They correspond to times in our lives when we are surrounded by uncertainty and are trepid of being overwhelmed with life. At those times, the sages told us we must cling to a community, a Minyan of our peers, to know that we are not alone in facing our fears. In fact, even when a person prays on their own, they should have in mind a connection to a minyan that takes place at the same time. This is to instill in us the knowledge that even though we may be alone, physically, we are always connected to our community in spirit. (same is true for Shiva, but that's for another post) Although we may have an instinct to become a virtual recluse and run away from everyone when facing challenging times, the wisdom of our fathers tell us we must seek company, supportive company. I see with my students, how unsure they are sometimes about opening up to others. I also see how, if they are able to overcome this initial instinct, the social interaction and bonding does wonders for their self esteem and functional abilities.

The power of hope

this week I understood - really understood the power of small jestures. During the weekly shiur at the yeshivah we spoke of the darkness that surrounds us. these are the shortest days of the year, where the nights are long and even the days are dark. This physical darkness leads many times to emotional darkness, fears and depression surround us. But, there is dgreat hope, as in times of darkness, every small light is meaningfull. At times of great light, your own light is sometimes lost and unseeming. At times of uncertainty, between light and dark, it is sometimes even more scary, you can't tell the difference between reality and imgination. In an ironic way, when the darkness envelops you, your light has more potential and can help you better see the road ahead. The darker it is, the greater the potential is. In this way, the darker it gets, the more hope there is to snap out.

Prayer -Daily Paradigm Shift

Wow, what a title - right into the deep end with this one...
well, this is a subject I've been thinking of for a while and will probably occupy much of my thought in the future - why do we pray? and why do Jews pray in such a set way???

When I was younger, I asked my father one time, why do we pray everyday using the same words? isn't it better to have a specific prayer for each day of the week? I was really bored with prayer and saw that people around me were not so elated as well... I didn't get a streight answer, or at least one that I remember which satisfied me.

over the years I pondered this point and the more I prayed the more I was connected to the process. I figured there are 2 aspects of prayer consciense and unconsciense.

There is a consciense part that helps you direct your thoughts, forces you to take action, physical action to thank God. thought is not enough, you have to GET OUT OF BED, get dressed , and SAY THE WORDS. It's very hard to be thankful, we have to minimize ourselves and control our ego. Prayer forces us to do that everyday.
the unconscience (some prefer subconscience) part of prayer is in the repitition. The world we live in is focused on us as individuals and what we do, It's a world of doing - of action. Prayer helps us connect to the world of being. It’s a daily paradigm shift; we repeat the words of faith and belief in connection to God every day. The familiarity makes for a reality in which we don't actually focus on the words and their meanings (sometimes!?!), but repeat them as mantras. Thank you God, You give water, you make me understand, and you give health and so on...

What’s the point in all this???

I think the point is clear; it's a mental health issue...
This world can be a heavy Burdon if we take on our own shoulders. When we make ourselves realize it's not all up to us to fix, the main responsibility is God's, all we have to do is contribute our part, not to the world, to God, we have much less pressure and are better equipped to take on the day.

This was a sliver of thought, I have to go on now and prepare myself to take on the day... to be continued

First post

All right !
i finally took the plunge this is the first post so it will be a short one. The aim of this blog is to talk about my thought, insights (Torah insights and otherwise), and about my mental health rehab program in Jerusalem.

since I'm the only one reading this for now I'll wish myself GOOD LUCK.