Empathy

Empathy can be the most fake thing. It's easy to fake empathy. I don't mean people can't tell when you are truly empathetic and when you are just going through the motions, I mean it's easy to fool yourself.
It is especially hard when you are in position of power such as parent, teacher, counselor, or other professional capacity vis-a-vis the other person. after all, you are supposed to lead them, aren't you???
well, yes and no. You have to share from your knowledge where it's relevant, but you can't make the other person in your own image. It wont work, and it is senseless. The Torah teaches us: "who is wise? one who learns from every person" but it doesn't end there. The fact of the matter is we are incapable of completely understanding the other, since we only share some experiences. You can see that even brothers that grew up in the same home have different ways of thinking and looking at the world.
If you want to relate to the other, you have to listen to them, you have to respect them. It's not a trick. I often tell my students, if you can repeat exactly what I said in today's lesson - I've failed! I want to hear the idea presented through your prism.

The Gemara gives us these tools, teaches this to us without beating us over the head with it. The fact every page of Gemara has extreme disagreements is a great tool to teach us how to look at matters from different points of view. We must understand beit Hillel's view just as much as we have to listen and understand the logic and thought process presented by the opposite side. Halacha is different, that's where there is no wavering, you can't pick and choose, but the process is a building one. IF YOU PRACTICE LISTENNING TO OPPOSING VIEWS DURING LEARNING, IT MAKES IT A LOT EASIER TO DO IT IN REAL LIFE. At that point, you are not faking yourself out.